Forever.

February 14th, 2008
Wife, you are a daily answer to many prayers!  I cherish you, protect our relationship, and anticipate so many great things ahead.  You've captured my lifelong love and respect.  You are my inspiration.  I love you!  
Forever, Lynn  XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO  
(I counted the XO's to be sure it was accurate!)

What is the meaning of forever?  I am tired of reading it!  Is forever over?  Was lifelong really supposed to be so short?

I have been angry with Lynn.  It's quite humorous actually.  I was often angry with Lynn :)  We loved to bicker and challenge each other, to see who could be more stubborn.  (He always won.  Just in case you were wondering.)

At times, I have been accused of being sweet and gentle.  But no.  Lynn knew the truth.  Truly, I am a fierce lioness (one who is beautifully elegant... a lioness of royalty... naturally).

When Lynn and I were really angry at each other, we'd say, We're fighting.  But then, Lynn, in his obsessively stubborn nature, had to change the We're fighting to I'm fighting, because I can't make him feel anything, just like he can't make me feel anything.

Lynn had this brilliant way of winning arguments and making his statements heard one way or another.  I could holler, beg, or cry all I wanted, but he could think circles around me!!  and knew it!!  In that particular instance, he was making it very clear that whether or not I would accept it, he had no intention of taking responsibility for my feelings.  He would, however, take his own feelings to the Lord with prayerful consideration.  Grrr... that made me angry :).  (Did you follow my emphases?)

So maybe I win the stubborn battle after all.  I read Lynn's cards and he says, forever.  Then I think of him in glory and he says, Let me go.

Let you go??  Let you go??  And just how am I supposed to do that, Husband???  HOW?

I am angry.  We're fighting.