Thursday, May 30, 2013

Lift up your head...

Lynn used to have dreams.  Many years ago, he had a dream that took place in a wide field, with a vast night sky as the backdrop. As Lynn admired the scenery, the glistening stars, he saw Him. Jesus. He could see him coming, closer and closer... With each step he drew near, embracing all who came into His path. He brought them into his embrace, consuming them with His perfect love and divine grace.  Lynn ached for Him...his heart soared and burned.  He was locked on Christ, who moved forward, one step at a time. When will it be my turn? He thought. Then it came. Jesus approached, his eyes and his smile radiant with love, brighter than all the stars of the heavens combined. Lynn felt His nearness and trembled as his arms came around in an all consuming embrace.  Lynn was swept up in God's love and was received unto glory...

A canvas image of this vision was created by my friend, Shannon Skafte, painted during Lynn's funeral service, his celebration of life.  The painting now hangs over my bed in my new home. In the top right hand corner, she wrote the beginning of one of Lynn's favorite Bible verses, Psalm 121:1, I lift up my eyes...

This verse didn't mean much to me before, other than its obvious truth and poetic beauty.  Lately, I've been looking at it wondering, What does that verse say to me?  Why that verse, God?

In the service with Priscilla Reid I wrote about last week, she spoke out a prophetic word to a woman in the congregation. I thought it was taken out of (or adapted from) 1 Peter 5:8-9, but now I'm not sure... She said, Lift up your head!  God wants you to gain perspective!  We can get so caught up in the struggles we are facing and need the Holy Spirit to lift up our heads and see a bigger picture...

Writers say that grievers are constantly searching for meaning to attach to the death of their loved one...  They are psychologically scrolling through every event in past, present, and whatever we might project onto the future, desperately searching for meaning in the midst of death.  What can this mean?  What purpose can come from this?  How can this make sense in my life? The bills roll in. Children wake up every morning ready to play. The demands of life are endless.  Still, the psyche is relentless... How do I find meaning in this?  How do I make sense of this?

The rhythm of life is intense.  For the griever, it can feel like harsh blows and biting winds.  How will I survive?  How will I make it? How do I keep going? How does anything in my life make sense? These questions plague me every minute of every day.

Lift up your head... Lift up your eyes... From where comes my help?  My help comes form the Lord...

Lynn understood this better than me.  He had a way of faith about him.  He had a strong and secure trust that seemed almost unshakeable. But I waver under the pressures of everyday life... How will we make it?  How will I accomplish what I need to accomplish today? How will I raise my children on my own?  How will I succeed in the financial/business part of caring for my family?  I have visions and plans and sweet whispers from the Holy Spirit about my tomorrow, but on days when I cannot fathom getting up out of bed (every day), and Alea comes bounding into my room ready for a marathon (every day), and I still cannot seem to do all that needs done (every day), and I still lose it emotionally and scare my children when I'm buckling under the pressure (...frequently)...  I need the word, Lift up your head!  

I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end.  I am that I am!!!  I am for you.  I am with you.  I am around you.  I am IN you.  Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world!!  

How glad I am that all the great heroes of the faith have faltered, have wavered in their faith at some time.  They all had to bow down and look up...

Bowing down and looking up is hard work.  Grieving is hard work.  Life is hard work.  Parenting is hard work.  Resting and healing are hard work.  Therefore, let us be diligent to enter that rest... (Heb 4:11)

But He gives greater grace.  Therefore it says 'God opposes the proud, but He gives grace to the humble.' (James 4:6)

I WILL LIFT UP MY HEAD!  FROM WHERE COMES MY HELP?  MY HELP COMES FROM THE LORD!  THE MAKER OF HEAVEN AND EARTH!  He holds my beginning and my end and all that is in between.  He stands with me.  I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me!  The same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead lives in me also, and His word is alive and active... 

Go ahead God!!  You send us out into the realm of impossibility so that you can work mighty works here in earth in the lives of men and women to the glory of God the Father!  I DON'T KNOW WHAT ON EARTH YOU ARE DOING!?!?!?!?! But Lead me in the Way everlasting!  Bring your kingdom to come and your will to be done here on earth as it is in heaven.  

What is God doing in your life?  Lift up your head... and perhaps you will get a glimpse of glory.

1 comment:

  1. Beloved Natasha, thank-you for sharing your daily struggles. Your words are beautifully handcrafted and are as transparent as your heart. Psalm 24 is my favourite in The Passion Translation by Dr Brian Simmons is my favourite.
    The Glory-King and Living Gateways...
    1 God claims the world as His!
    Everything and everyone belongs to Him!
    2 He is the One who pushed back the oceans
    To let the dry ground appear,
    Planting frm foundations for the earth.

    3 Who then, dares to climb up into the presence of the Lord?
    And who has the right to enter into the Holy Place where He dwells?
    4 It will be those who are clean, and whose works and ways are pure;
    Whose hearts are true and who are sealed in the truth.
    Those who never deceive, and whose words are sure.... (skip 6&7 for space)
    7 So wake up, you living gateways!
    Lift up your heads, you ageless doors of destiny!
    Welcome the Glory-King who is about to come through you!
    8 You ask, Who is this Glory-King?
    It is the Lord, armed and ready for battle,
    The Mighty One, invincble in every way!
    9 So wake up you living gateways, and rejoice!
    Fling wide open, you forever-doors of destiny!
    Here He comes: the Glory-King is ready to come in!

    My best advice to you as an experienced widow of 24 years is to give the devil a black eye and....more and more set aside your grief of losing Lynn and more and more desire to get even more intimate with your Bridegroom King Jesus.

    Love always, Diana 902-895-6074