You are so beautiful.
You told me many years ago that you believed you had a spiritual gift of faith. I think you were right. Divine faith was entangled within the intricacies of your inner person, your woundedness, your hopes, your dreams, your beliefs...
As you loved people with exuberant joy and unhindered affection, we were blessed. As you ministered in a steadfastness, an immovable sense of dignity being a son of the Most High God, with a deep assurance and strength, we were changed.
Your depth was a tangled mess of both reverent strength and human weakness. As you laughed and danced and played, you were disciplining yourself to offer every weakness to the Lord, in excellence and surrender, laying them at His feet.
After years of watching the waves beat up against you. When challenges from your childhood impacted your life. When peers accused you of being "fake", whether verbally or in silent suspicion. When your identity was in question and the matter of "call". When you surrendered your dreams and ambitions to serve. When your service was questioned, criticized, and de-valued. You stood firm. In meekness. In strength. Immovable.
Like a stone that has been carefully moulded by the onslaught of opposing waves, so are you in your glorious state. You radiate as one who has stood the test of time, remained faithful through every trial, been refined in the fire and come out as gold…
You are a complicated man, my beloved. Though on earth, you were known for your exuberant praise, in the spirit I see you as pure and refined strength. With an immoveable-ness to your nature. A sober meekness, and humility, as the backdrop to your praise.
You are my brother. And you are free from this time capsule of trial where life and death hang in the balances…
You are beautiful.
I love you,