Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Wrestling in the caves.

As "grown-ups" we face many practical decisions in life. Career decisions. Family decisions. Whether to buy this car or that one. To invest here or there. To send our kids to this school or that one…

How do we process our lives in order to make these decisions? There are so many factors. We want to make wise choices. We want the most for our money. We want the best for our kids. We want to do everything society tells us would make us decent, capable adults… But what if God inserts a new factor into your desicion-making? What if He asks you to have faith? What if God asks me to make a decision that goes against what my worldly wisdom says is wise? Something that others might say isn't good parenting? Something people might claim as foolish financially? How do I process those decisions, then, in the light of faith? How do I purify my desires before Him? How do I trust that He'll really take care of me? That He's really Lord? Over all these things? He trumps. If I act in faith… will He prove faithful?

I have continued to wrestle with life decisions. Career decisions. What I want for my finances. What I want for my kids. It is intimidating being a young widow. I knew so little. The overwhelming message I receive from the world is that I have to do what they say. That they know better then me what I should or shouldn't do. That they are the ones with the trump card. That their projected outcome is truth. BUT… God. But God.

All my life I have felt like a Joseph. Someone to whom God says, You are mine, at an early age, but than life happens. How does God's Word make sense when circumstance go awry? Yet those circumstance were God's Potter's hands, carefully purifying and refining the vessel, so the Word He'd put within could be perfectly expressed… unmarred. Not tainted. So God's goodness and glory could be seen without hinder, without defect.

David was anointed King at a young age. I imagine he was thrilled and excited, honoured, maybe a little (or a lot) proud. But how did he feel about it after years of waiting and fighting for the circumstances to line up with His Word? In the caves, as Psalm upon Psalm poured out of His Spirit, God was again using circumstances to refine the vessel for a pure expression of His Word. The Word was alive and active in Him, changing and transforming him, while the hands of God hedged him in, holding him firmly in place on the potter's wheel, perfectly centred, until he willed one will with God the Father…

Neither Joseph or David, or many of these biblical heroes asked for their call. They didn't pursue it. They were chosen. Then, they were left with a choice. To obey or not to obey. To believe or not to believe. To stay on the Potter's wheel, with the sharp pain, the steady pressure of those powerful hands… for years and years and years? Or leave? To leave is… unthinkable. Because no matter how hard life gets… When we know who God is, when His Word is alive within us, we are like Peter. Lord, to whom shall we go? You are the one who has words of eternal life. (John 6:68)

When wrestling in the caves like David, or in the dungeons like Joseph, let faith win. Let God's Word be the trump card that leads you to making one decision or another. And be purified. Be refined. Learn to will one thing, to be one with the Most High God. Seek first His kingdom and all these things shall be added unto you…

For God is good. He does trump. The ways of this world are as grass, blowing to and fro in the wind. But God's Word stands forever, from everlasting to everlasting. Let's believe God. And watch Him be glorified as we are purified.


  1. Natasha...I needed this post tonight. Thank you for sharing your journey and putting one bold foot in front of the other.
    Nicole Fitzgerald (aka Nikki LeYanna)
    Psalm 97:10 "The Lord loves those who hate evil; he guards the lives of his faithful; he rescues them from the hand of the wicked."

  2. "To love our God, the reason we live..."