Friday, December 13, 2013

A year of jubilee.

A new chapter. A new decade. Thirty, flirty, and thriving… (Okay, just kidding! Line taken from "13 Going on 30".)

Father, I commit this day, this moment, this week, this month, this holiday season, this year, even this decade… I commit my way unto the Lord, and trust also in Him, with confidence that He will do it. (Psalm 37:5, paraphrased)

As I evaluate my life, my heart, my strengths and my weaknesses… I find myself greatly lacking. I lack in peace. I lack in faith. I lack in assurance and confidence to do His will. I lack self-control, knowledge, and wisdom… In these areas, I find myself weak. And yet, God looks on me and finds me faithful. He has given me His name. He has given me His Word. He has given me His Spirit, with every spiritual blessing under heaven (Eph 1:3). A heavenly armour to conquer against the enemy. And a divine purpose with which to live. He has bestowed me with favour and honour in a kingdom that sees not as the world sees, but looks to the heart. For God is looking for those who are broken vessels. He is looking for a house in which He might dwell. He looks to and fro to find for Himself one who is humble and contrite in spirit, and one who trembles at His word. (Is 66:2)

I find in these ways, that perhaps I might be just what He is looking for. Perhaps He does look on me and find me blessed. Perhaps instead of lacking, I am overflowing with abundance. Because blessed are the poor in spirit, for they shall inherit the kingdom of God. (Matt 5:3)

I find that I am entering this new decade with a new mind. It was a gift :) My friends prayed for me and we took off some of my broken thought patterns that inhibited healing in my grief. Areas of mine and Lynn's life in which I could not accept peace. But was ruled by fear and guilt. My peace came when I could relinquish my perspective and take on a new mind. Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus… (Philippians 2:5)

A new chapter. A new decade. A new life, but not without the old. I do not move on forgetting what was. I am overwhelmed by how Lynn remains to impact my present and my future… But peace. I must have peace to enter this new chapter. To accept what was and now is. To trust in the Lord and do good; to dwell in the land and feed on His faithfulness. To delight myself in the Lord, and he will give me the desires of my heart… (Psalm 37:3-4)

Father, I have laid all my fears at your feet. I have surrendered my concerns, ambitions, and desires… I desire your will above my own. I desire fruitfulness and peace. I desire one thing and one thing only, To dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in his temple... (Psalm 27:4)

I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul shall be joyful in my God; For he hath clothed me with garments of salvation, he has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorns herself with jewels. For as the garden causes the things that are sown to spring forth, so the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise to spring forth before all the nations. (Is 61:10-11)

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