Grief is like a storm.
I feel like I am huddled quietly in a life raft, calm and carried, my eyes are closed and fixed on Christ, while the storm rages around me.
The waves of grief and depression, anger and sadness, sweep over me at their own will. I want stand up as Jesus did and command the wind and the waves to stop! But I hear the Lord's gentle whisper... Just ride. And trust Me.
As I rest, I picture large beautiful hands reaching down into the waters and sweeping through the rocks and sand at the base of my ocean. Every pebble, every grain of sand, once touched by the love and oneness I shared with Lynn, now being turned over by the healing touch of Jesus. Not one stone can be left unturned for my healing to be complete. And so I ride. And I wait. I brace myself against the waves.
Slowly but surely God is healing my heart. God will heal my heart.
And He will heal yours.
I look down at my hand and finger my wedding rings... My two worlds colliding. The pain and brokenness of losing my husband and aching for him with every fibre of my being and the awareness of a new me being put together, crafted, moulded, assembled... Now, I am just riding. I don't belong in the past, but I am not ready for the future. And so I wait. And the waves come. And the Hands of God minister to my weary soul.